March 22nd, 2021 – BabylonBee.com
U.S.—According to media reports, there has been a mass shooting. As of now, it is unclear how bad the mass shooting is, or whether anyone should care about it– since authorities have not yet released the skin colors of the perpetrator and the victims.
“It’s possible this could be a horrific mass shooting we will talk about for years to come,” said one news anchor. “On the other hand, it may just be a run-of-the-mill mass shooting that we’ll forget by tomorrow since it doesn’t fit the narrative we are trying to sell right now. For the time being, please be sure to assume this shooting confirms all your most horrific biases about the state of our country. Stay tuned for more details– unless we decide you don’t really need to hear more details.”
Already, social media is buzzing with speculation and anger, confirming everything everyone already knew about how horrible the groups of people who they think are so horrible really are.
“Not surprised,” said one American. “This is America– the country where the exact people I hate are as horrible as I thought they were.”
The media has assured they will probably just hold off on reporting further details until the preferred narrative has had time to run its course.
Author's note at the end of each post:
-"Your biggest problem is so small for such a big God"-Ella Cruz"
The Bible serves as the blueprint of faith, and the New Testament provides us with God's faith and the power to perform miracles through faith and the name of Jesus. Regardless of the severity of cancer, healing can be achieved through faith in God's word. When Jesus raised the dead, he did not discriminate based on the level of death. He simply called forth life. Let's explore how he did it.
The first time Jesus brought someone back from the dead was the daughter of Jairus, an official in Jerusalem. Although she had passed away, she was only recently deceased. The second time was the son of a widow in Nain who had been dead for just one day. Lastly, Jesus raised Lazarus, the brother of Mary and Martha in Bethany, who had been dead for three days. He raised them all. No matter how insurmountable your problem may seem, Jesus is the resurrection and the light. Ella Cruz
World's events are happening so fast. Global Governance 2015, Agenda 2030, Agenda 2050, Antarctica, Mars, CERN, G5, The United Nations, The European Union, the Club of Rome, and the false prophets of the Vatican all together, we see that the satanic global government is imminent, and it shall come to pass. The mark of the beast will be obligatory. You are either a Christian or not. If you are, you believe this because it is predicted 2000 years ago in the Bible. But if you are not a Christian, you read the news and notice that the satanic world government is their agenda. Their Global Governance 2025 is terribly close. Their Green New Deal 12-year timeline matches the agenda 2030. We have a short time to prepare ourselves.
Born-again Christians are happy and calm. Why? Why do we joyfully dedicate ourselves to the nation, knowing that we will be chased and prosecuted? Because we are dedicated to the Kingdom. "Thy kingdom come; Thy will be done."
1. We firmly believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God.
2. We hold the Bible as the divinely inspired Word of God.
3. We believe that God loved us so much that He sent His only begotten Son to die on the cross for our sins. Through His precious blood, all our sins are washed away and forgiven.
4. We believe that the price for our salvation, health, prosperity, happiness, and eternal life has been paid by the blood of Jesus. These gifts are freely available to us through the grace of God. By His stripes, we were healed 2000 years ago.
5. We acknowledge that by accepting Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we open our hearts to the Holy Spirit. We are baptized by the Holy Spirit, who dwells within us and communicates with us through dreams, visions, speeches, videos, books, and other means. This communication begins immediately after our salvation.
6. We firmly believe that Jesus Christ remains the same yesterday, today, and forever. As born-again believers, we receive the same DNA as Jesus Christ, with the same miraculous abilities through faith. Just as the apostles performed signs and wonders like Jesus, we too can accomplish these miracles through faith, and the Lord will work through us.
7. We condemn the Vatican's religion and many false prophets who have deceived Christians for centuries, hiding the true message of the Bible and the Good News from people to maintain their power. We welcome all denominations and strive for unity in the body of Christ.
8. We believe that a born-again Christian never truly dies. When a believer's life on earth ends, they are promoted to heaven, and death holds no power over them. In heaven, we experience immense joy, love, peace, and the glory of God. Those who have had near-death experiences or have seen Jesus in a vision or dream know the indescribable relief and joy of being in His presence.
To answer the question of why we are happy, we say that we could happily die at any moment. In fact, we long to go home and be with our Lord. However, we know that each one of us has a mission and purpose revealed to us by the Holy Spirit after our born-again experience. For the sake of fulfilling that mission, we remain joyful and relaxed in the spirit, knowing that we are called to save people by preaching the Gospel and bringing them to Jesus.
To be born again, you just need to say:
I accept you as my personal savior,
Come to my heart,
Forgive my sins,
Wash me away,
Make me a new person,
And live inside of me.
In the Name of Jesus from Nazareth,
And that's it. You are saved! Jesus will reveal Himself to you, and your life will undergo a significant transformation. Your marriage, health (especially addiction), finances, and all areas of your life will experience an extraordinary change.
And never look back.
In Jesus Almighty name.